Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Letting 'I Dare Not' Wait Upon 'I Will'

I am starting to feel the burden of the predicament I've slowly put myself in. I have isolated myself from the world, at least the parts of it I should care about. I am stuck in a dead end, nowhere life without friends or realistic hope of things getting any better. Partially from feelings of fear, partially from feelings of inadequacy I've never really connected with people who share my interests or sensitivity. I've tried but I always intimidate myself out of being around anyone for any length of time. Then again I'm always too self-conscious to make friends. I'm totally lost as to what to do. I feel like I'm too old to get a job that meshes with my real talents and interests and try as I might, I just don't where to turn now. Maybe I just need to get out, like to a John McLaughlin concert coming up a week from Friday but there's no passion or purpose in my life and I need it badly.

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